One degree of Kevin Bacon

At this morning's official Signal Regimental Week Prayer Breakfast, the Chaplain -- speaking on the seven Army values -- described a scene in the latest Kevin Bacon movie, Taking Chance. Bacon's character is escorting the body of a fallen Marine home for the funeral, and at the airport security checkpoint he refuses to remove his dress uniform coat festooned with medals, ostensibly because it was his sacred honor to wear the uniform while performing his duties. I haven't seen the movie, but I presume that after some edge-of-your-seat moments of consternation, the TSA agents reluctantly let him on through with little more than a wand wave.

Nice try, Hollywood -- but in real life things ain't so easy. A couple of years ago I also volunteered the same duty, for my friend who had taken his own life. I too was told to keep my uniform on at all times until I got to my final destination, but at the first security checkpoint at 0600 at OKC, I faced a similar decision. Only I figured it was better to meekly comply than to be taken to some moldy storage closet and accused of hating America whilst being waterboarded for three hours by some huge, greasy, underpaid TSA agent as the plane takes off with my friend's coffin in it. My duty was to escort my comrade's body to its final resting place, not wake up in an undisclosed location and get my 15 minutes of fame on CNN because I've got a bone to pick with the collective ignorance of the TSA. I even let them scan my backpack which had the folded flag in it, that I would ultimately present to my friend's widow at the funeral.

Of course I had to strip down to my socks, pants, and undershirt in front of everyone, and when I complained I was pulled aside for "special screening," even after I broke protocol to reveal my mission. Now in that tense moment I didn't imagine some action-packed scene where I grab the agent's gun, shoot my way onto the plane and highjack my way to Atlanta just in time for the funeral -- I would never have dreamed of that, not even for a fleeting second. Even if I had to take a rubber glove for the team (which I thankfully did not), I was going to accomplish my mission. But I at least got to tell the TSA supervisor that it was a shameful moment in our country's history when a man in uniform had to be subjected to such nonsense. I later wrote a strongly-worded letter to the TSA on their website telling them they should be ashamed of themselves, but I have yet to receive my apology. And I refuse to be nice to any TSA agent until I do.

But none of that sells movies, or makes for good points in Chaplains' sermons.

Now quick, who can connect Kevin Bacon to Kenneth Branagh, using only military-themed movies?